


Flummoxed

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s04e10 Arctic Radar, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-28
Updated: 2003-01-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 19:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Post-Ep toArctic Radar





	Flummoxed

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Flummoxed**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything  
**Category:** Romance/Post-Ep, Josh/Donna  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Spoilers:** Everything through Arctic Radar.  
**Summary:** Don't we all have days like this?  
**Author's Note:** Special thanks to beta-extraordinaire, Shelley, and Rhonda.

When last we left our hero, he was pensively watching Donnatella Moss walk down the hallway, leaving for her first date with Jack Reece. Wonder what Josh is thinking? Here's one take. Enjoy!

"I really like him."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Well, yes, I know what that means, but seriously, what is she thinking? 

Let's look at this objectively. He's short. Does she realize that she's gonna have to bend down to kiss him? Whoa, danger Will Robinson... not going there at all, ever. She's not kissing anyone...yet. 

But the fact is she'll be wearing flat shoes the rest of her life 'cuz you know guys like that are intimidated by tall women. Not a problem for me of course. I'm taller than him. Taller by at least seven inches...or maybe three but no question, she'd have to stand on her tip-toes if she were kissing me. So the guy's short which means no more of those strappy, slinky, sexy shoes she likes to wear...which she could definitely wear if she was walking somewhere with me.

But of course, height is such a superficial thing. There are much more important issues...like hair...the guy definitely ought to be grateful for that military buzz cut thing he's got going there 'cuz otherwise it would be crystal clear that the man is losing it. His hairline is receding faster than Fitz's. Ok, I may be struggling with a little hair loss myself, but I've definitely got the curls at the back of the neck thing going that women like.

And would their kids be albinos or what? Waaay too much blonde hair and you can't really appreciate her long, blonde, gorgeous hair unless it's in contrast to someone whose hair is a little darker...with the curls thing going at the neck.

I heard about the ashtray. She was enthralled that it broke cleanly in three pieces. Me? I'm wondering if he could be called up on charges of destroying government property....wait, wait, what the hell was he doing stealing the ashtray in the first place? Ok - now we got him. He steals the ashtray and then destroys it. I'll just drop that little tidbit in conversation with Fitz. That guy will be out of here and back to that Arctic Circle so fast his balding blonde head will spin.

And boring, boring, boring is all I can say about his clothes. Yeah, there are some women who get verklempt about a man in uniform. But seen it once and then what? You see it again - same old, same old. Does the man even own a pair of jeans that are so old that they mold to the cutest butt in DC. I'm just saying.

Let's talk jobs. Yeah. Let's compare the third most powerful guy in the Administration to someone whose office is in the Steampipe Distribution Center...not, I might add, on a submarine. What's a submarine commander doing on dry land...did he get seasick? Yeah, that's a good one. A navy guy who gets seasick. Well yes I occasionally get queasy in the back seat of a car when someone is reading to me, but my job isn't in the back seat of a car, so there.

And the guy's an idiot. Let's repeat that one more time. He's a balding, short idiot. How do I know that? Because he didn't have a clue that Donna liked him....liked liked him. I had to tell him. What kind of idiot has to be told that a woman likes him? 

And Leo's still laughing about the guy's answer that he'd need three hours to get back to him with a response. Hell, the whole crisis was over in 2 hours. I'm a man of action. Forceful, decisive, smart, did I mention the names Harvard, Yale, Fulbright...Keystone Kop...whoa, where did that come from? Leo? OK - but everyone makes a mistake occasionally...once or maybe twice...a secret plan to...nope not going there.

But of course, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. The guy's a Republican for God's sake. He was voting for Ritchie. She spends five years with the Democrats and she likes a short Republican, with bad hair who...who doesn't get how endearing she can be. How could he not think the underwear story was endearing?

OK - let's put that Yale, Harvard, Fulbright education to good use and save her from herself...for someone who really appreciates her...for someone like me.


End file.
